Whale The Tar Out of Her

Picture this; my cart is full of Christmas decorations (Hobby Lobby had them 50% off and I still hadn't found our box from two years ago), the lines are long, the clerks are not smiling and those of us in line are trying to make the best of it. Mya is seated in the cart and leaning over to try and nab all those bits and bobs they put alongside the till to tempt us. Eventually, the leaning took on a desperate angle and the demands started. She demanded to be let out of the cart. She demanded to be heard. She demanded that bag of jacks.

Her demands were escalating to wails and her squirminess was on the rise too. I acquiesced and let her out of the cart which, of course, didn't help us at all. Having the bag of jacks did nothing to calm the mini-whirlwind I now had on my hands. It was not about the jacks.

Now I was starting to sweat - literally and figuratively. Her little pink cowboy boot fell off (twice). I don't know why on earth I didn't just walk out the door right then, but I had some perverse need to just complete my task. We were so close to completion, I naively thought we could just get it done.

Right about now, the kind looking MeeMaw in the Santa sweater right behind us decided to enter the fray. Not helpful.

She proceeded to share a story with me about her little sister (twenty years her junior with a whole mess in between) who pitched a fit in a store one day when she didn't get what she wanted. "Well, my Mama whaled the tar out of her right there." A witness walked up shortly after and congratulated her on doing what it took to set her kids straight. "Well, my Mama felt right vindicated".

It took every ounce of my strength to keep my cool - which wasn't very much considering most of it was being expended on wrestling a now-screaming Mya.

I wanted to get into it with her and explain my position on gentle discipline. I wanted to explain that Mya was only displaying behavior perfectly in keeping with her 18 months and a missed morning nap. I wanted to share my opinion that I believe calm, soft, loving attention is best to settle Mya down. I wanted to ask how I could teach my daughter not to hit, when I resorted to hitting when I was stressed? I wanted to point out that it is my responsibility to be the adult and not lose my emotional balance at the very moment Mya needs me to be her center.

Maybe I should have just said "You're right, hitting does help resolve issues" and smacked the poor defenseless lady.